I kept yesterday’s promise: an earlier start and a real Americano from Atlantis Coffee in Regina. Set my first complete solo day off perfectly.

Then, one great silly moment with two Manitobians (again). And, one major refusal by three Saskatchewan morning smokers. I comforted myself by being extra nice to them and said at least we all laughed despite their refusal. I bet they’ll think about why “they can’t be silly.”

Tuned into CBC with my traveling coffee and……of course, everything discussed was perfect for today’s contemplation. Robin William’s passing, suicide, tugged at my thoughts and radio hosts contributed to the subject. Depression, comedy, the arts, laughter, dark places, hidden pain, sadness, humour masking something. Mental illness.

Made me ponder my “spontaneous buffoonery” road trip goal. Made me think of my own dark days, of my family’s dealings with a still not honestly aired topic of mental health, and a close friend who sadly did as Robin Williams.

At one of my gas station stops, I made myself turn around and go back into the building, to the restaurant to find one table of people who would be willing to be impromptu with me. I lost two people but three were willing to at least give me a smile and a wee bit of silliness.

We ended up having a serious conversation about humour and the role it plays. Everybody shared recent losses with me, and we all agreed that it was important to find a giggle now and then to balance it all up. Serious will always present itself.

Robin Williams gave us the gift of laughter over and over, as well as the gift of brilliant drama. I feel his passing is a wake up call, somehow.

I suspected I had turned to buffoonery for some reason. It’s confirmed. I needed it. Still need it. Will always need it. It’s the energy and freedom that releases the pressure of the dark thoughts and experiences that sift through my soul. (oooo…. sounds like I’m an egg timer!)

DING!

I made it to Kenora in the light. Staying at my first motel and am enjoying my quiet Ontario moment.

Tomorrow, I’m finding another cafe and will stroll the waterside before making my way further a long in Northern Ontario.

Keep buckled up, and look for that wee light that may turn a day around.

(p.s. Yes… I had a picnic on my costume film set chair on a patch of grass near a tree…. near a gas station!)